just a simple post
no pics..
in an attempt to undo a knot that can never be undone
it's just because i have nowhere to vent all of this but in tis window..
***
i know there are a lot of other people who seem to be better than me...
in looks, character and whatnots.. i dont noe..
i know u have quite a few pasts, too, tt to me u can't seem to get over..

i've tasted that bitterness before...
when u walked past without noticing i was right beside u
while u were head over heels with another person

i know it's in you
i know it's a guy kinda thing
and many a time i'm reminded of how many times u've lied to me
saying u thought that she was me..
saying u were going to log off soon but u weren't for someone's sake
the too many weird random texts that wanna date u out
and the small small excuses u make...
am i not worth some bit of honesty?
even if it meant hurting me to know..
but it'll never hurt more than being smokescreened

pls forgive my little tantrums
it's not that i mind that action of looking.. (not really..)
or that i cant understand some people just like to flock to u but u cant help it
but there's this little me...
tt's wilful enough to wish at this level of maturity and understanding of harsh reality
that u'd at least, for once, give me tt bit of security for a while longer than a moment or two
that at least till the last resort has to be made
there's still some honesty left in admitting
i promise really
i would laugh it off better than when i JUST know already.. but to hear your denial..

i'm just still hurt by the past
i really dont know why i cant move on
sometimes i wish we dont tend to attract such unnecessary attention
and that u'd for once show that it's me
and will only be me
with true action and not talk..

here..
i really dont know wad else to say
i've said enough...
cried enough..
yet.
the pain is still there.

well i know when u see this
u might still not read me nor attempt to forgive me for plunging into the hurt again

i promise..
i'm not lying when i say
i cant help it.
once hurt, always hurt...