i've been thinking
i know it's a never-ending cycle
our happiness will alwaes be tagged with anger and frustration
though it's sweet when we're happy,
i know truths always surface when we quarrel.
all the words of love
are mere propriety of intimacy between a couple.
but when things get rough,
everything spills.

i know you find me unsatisfactory and i've heard enough already...
i guess no one is ever able to be perfectly suitable.
and i guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
you've said things to me i'm beginning to accept as truths.
i won't deny anymore the faults you listed time and again.
as difficult a person you make me out to be,
i feel more difficult in a position to stay on.

but i don't wanna repeat the same cycle anymore
it's too predictable and frustrating
i am sick to the gut

i forgive easily,
'cos all i need is some coaxing.
yet forgiving is one thing,
but it's different from being together again.
to continue it's somethin' else.

i'm really really tired out already
and the things you say in the several quarrels we made
just keep running through my mind
that i'm begging to stop

i'm more unhappy and than happy now
it's just so hard to feel contented and joyful from the heart
it's always
a smile on my face
but a cut in the heart

you said all it takes is for me to change
but i really can't........
can't you seee
i'm not lying
i am what i am
and what's done cannot be undone
the impression of me that you have
has already been reflected too many times in the quarrels we have had
and most unfortunately
they can't be erased
they'll keep re-writing in my head till i smash it flat
that's how hard i find bout changing myself

"it's just is the whole of me i'm expected to change"
why is it so difficult...? i really wonderr.....