i have never felt so insulted all my life. i remember the time when we first met.. we prolly never knew one another's bad colours or we might have expected each of us to have some bad sides of ourselves. but i never expected myself to swallow my pride this way, even when i haven't done anything. i thought you loved me and no matter what happened, i felt you would never hurt me and trample on me like that. i remember the time when we promised to give each other a tight hug no matter what happens or who's mad at who, but as long as someone's mad, hug even though we might refuse, till we both would cool down. i guess that solution only applies when we till loved each other. how can i not know it is not the case anymore and naively still wait for something like that to save me from falling??
i am now (finally, some of you might think) home. but it was a violent chase-back as a i cried bitterly in a late-night cab. the nearer we reached my own house the louder and more painful my cries became. i begged mum not to bring me home but to somewhere else safer. i was helpless.
today. i was forced to face someone i still am not ready to face again.
today. i was also forced to leave someone i cannot face again.
it's either dad or you. two people i loved gave me the "tightest slaps" to my pride and dignity. you demeaned me again and again. in front someone you loved before. in front of someone interested in you. in front of everyone you care about and still love but me. and, in front of your mum, that i accused her and badmouthed her over the phone with my mum when i was only (IN YOUR FACE) crying to my mum to bring me home FULLSTOP. I saved the pride for you only to be more trampled on by you.
i've been crying and i still am, but i gotta wipe those tears off profusely because i still have school. if you bear a grudge that i spoiled your career by making you cry at the openhouse, you have your revenge. a really nice one, cos i'm gonna harbour this load of sorrow and tears and bite my lips to not cry over the dunno-how-long i usually take to get over things. thanks for taking care of me all this while, and thanks for "sending me home". you have what you wanted. and i'll be happy for you. whatever i wrote in the scrapbook or BOOKS, and wherever i existed, please scrape it. your next gf will be happier.
it's always my exs' next girlfriends who are happier, i realised...........
i am now (finally, some of you might think) home. but it was a violent chase-back as a i cried bitterly in a late-night cab. the nearer we reached my own house the louder and more painful my cries became. i begged mum not to bring me home but to somewhere else safer. i was helpless.
today. i was forced to face someone i still am not ready to face again.
today. i was also forced to leave someone i cannot face again.
it's either dad or you. two people i loved gave me the "tightest slaps" to my pride and dignity. you demeaned me again and again. in front someone you loved before. in front of someone interested in you. in front of everyone you care about and still love but me. and, in front of your mum, that i accused her and badmouthed her over the phone with my mum when i was only (IN YOUR FACE) crying to my mum to bring me home FULLSTOP. I saved the pride for you only to be more trampled on by you.
i've been crying and i still am, but i gotta wipe those tears off profusely because i still have school. if you bear a grudge that i spoiled your career by making you cry at the openhouse, you have your revenge. a really nice one, cos i'm gonna harbour this load of sorrow and tears and bite my lips to not cry over the dunno-how-long i usually take to get over things. thanks for taking care of me all this while, and thanks for "sending me home". you have what you wanted. and i'll be happy for you. whatever i wrote in the scrapbook or BOOKS, and wherever i existed, please scrape it. your next gf will be happier.
it's always my exs' next girlfriends who are happier, i realised...........
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