it's near 2 am and i'm not sure if i can sleep tonight.
it's particularly from tonight on that i feel finally that i am really going to let things go.
i used to think that i would only complain and say i wanna throw everything behind me out of an anger fit.
but tonight i just feel that it's all falling back to place-my original life without anyone close to heart, without expectations of anybody, and being happy with being treated nicely by everyone. that less temperamental me. the less angered and less insecured me. that nearly-2-years-ago me. things feel alot emptier today. though it's not necessarily a bad thing.. because i've been filled with denial and distrust and frustration previously and today it's really empty EMPTY. it's this nostalgic sadness that i realised that everything's changed and no two persons can love one another as they first did. we've both grown out of one another and tonight i confirm that feeling more clearly. i'm not sure how i'll walk this thing tomorrow.. maybe when i wake up i bounce back into the same routine of just going with the flow... but i've never felt so close to feeling nothing tonight. that it's ok to be lonely. or maybe even better for you and me.
it's particularly from tonight on that i feel finally that i am really going to let things go.
i used to think that i would only complain and say i wanna throw everything behind me out of an anger fit.
but tonight i just feel that it's all falling back to place-my original life without anyone close to heart, without expectations of anybody, and being happy with being treated nicely by everyone. that less temperamental me. the less angered and less insecured me. that nearly-2-years-ago me. things feel alot emptier today. though it's not necessarily a bad thing.. because i've been filled with denial and distrust and frustration previously and today it's really empty EMPTY. it's this nostalgic sadness that i realised that everything's changed and no two persons can love one another as they first did. we've both grown out of one another and tonight i confirm that feeling more clearly. i'm not sure how i'll walk this thing tomorrow.. maybe when i wake up i bounce back into the same routine of just going with the flow... but i've never felt so close to feeling nothing tonight. that it's ok to be lonely. or maybe even better for you and me.
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