Gotta pretend I have a major diarrhoea so that mum didn't know I was putting a fist in mouth and bawling.
Having cried in the bathroom for the past ten minutes, I realized how much I'm not worthy of u.
And prolly tts how u make me feel for the past few days too..
I told my bestie it feels like I'm grasping onto something I knew I had alr lost. But I'm still chasing and chasing...
U keep going farther and farther.. Till I can't even get to see u anymore.

I've no more courage to tell you things that I feel, I laugh about, my new hobby and especially the grieve in me.
I'm not replying you anymore but to your last MSG... Yes I do love the tidbits u sent to my doorstep.... But it feels cold and distant I can't bear to eat them at all... I found them sitting alone at the gate against the haunting backdrop of the lonely night.. I didn't even dare pick them up myself and asked mum to accompany me to collect those little gifts...

****BREATHE**** I gotta get outta the bathroom looking ok. So help me out if my heart could stop wrenching