i came to my blog window but i dont know where to start. all i can say is.. there is a growing distance between us but u aint doing anything to patch it back. instead u continue to just let me go and guard your own life.. u promised u would bring me along.. but u only told me when i asked and u have already gone... u prmised u would tell me even before u go, but when u knew u had gone without telling me, u just said u hadnt dont anything wrong cos u told me long ago u had wanted to meet.. u chose the perfect day when i couldnt make it. and u said it would be one whole group instead of just one person u were meeting. but u only asked me to stop crying and keep listing down al my faults.. when can u just stop to take a look at how far apart u have cast me away from u....? u bothered to send her home in a cab when u would tell me u were broke etc. and when u asked me to go home myself. u were doing the same things that hurt me again because u were again in front of ur frens acting like u are going on rough patch.. it's just going round and round and u just keep hurting me.. i just wanna say how terrible i felt last night.. because everytime u ask me wad is wrong with me and why can't i stop feeling unhappy.. i feel even more hurt that i don;t know how to make u understand wad u have done that hurt me so much.. i have been asking where are u when i need u.. u just replied u are always around. and that aint different from having a cyber-friend or just an acquaintance who even bothered to come down physically to cheer me up with nice gestures.. just where are u when i needed u...? f weekdays a week u never bothered to meet outside to have a nice meal, and i admit i am just jealous that u could tell me u're tired all the time when i wanna meet u and initiate asking u about dinner, while u could jolly well go somewhere far off to have dinner with someone else... if i hadnt called u u wouldnt have told me... u said u would but the truth is u would never because if u had.. u would have told me right before u did go..

anyhow.. i'm just giving an explanation which i don't have to... just so u would know why i have decided to leave.. (even at this time.. u haven't done anything for me)...

i naively thought u would pick me up ytd night... while u were cabbing your someone else home..


i maybe crying over everything now.. but i'll be better than before...