I dont love you like I loved you yesterday..

i used to wonder why people wanna smoke or drink when their messed up with life. that standard line that says there's is no help in takin a puff or downing a shot. but things have become pretty different... and i now know how important a tiniest moment of feeling "high" could be to a person who's been screwed inside-out in life.. the heart beats fuckin fast everytime we quarrel and everytime u hurt me.. it beats so fast it hurts as bad.. and it's so bad i sometimes want it to stop beating forever.

that aside..
iphone browser program has been trying to be farnie..
very long cannot post pictures oredi

(:

Last but not least....
BEFORE & AFTER OF MY PREVIOUSLY-CHUI-TO-MAX ROOM!!!
i could've lived with that mess it ain't looked that bad after all from this pic...?

but i really love my room so much more now..
it's waaaaaaaaay cleaner and comfortable ((:
<3



"
been trying to improve but said i didn't change a bit..
didnt even try to see how much i've tried..
and that sent me straight to hell.
maybe i should stop fighting and to heck with everything..
i could change for you.. anything for you..realy.
but what you said made me feel there's no one in the world that's worth changing myself for.
afterall... i didnt have to to begin with..
"

"it's the 3rd time in a long long while that i woke up in tears..."