i smell green apple as i type this post

i always loved the start of a friendship because that's when we dont know each other. somehow the sick thing is that we love the finding-out-more-bout-each-other till we come to a point we're disgusted that we know too much too well.. i miss alot of "beginnings" with almost anyone i feel is important to me. even those who have left my life, those who are still around and even those who just exist. the starting is always sweet, for you anticipate the acceleration of how things might turn out to be. yet when you know you have reached the peak of it all, you realize you just are not at all close to being as delighted as where you dreamt of being in the first place. before you now how to savour the amazement of how close you have become, that same relationship starts to dissipate before you and crush the little world you built of yourselves. it has happened all too often that i become able to wordify all of it and discover i am no longer able to go round and round like this with anyone and everyone anymore. that's perhaps why i cant wait for a long break to sit by and watch in a place i never laid my feet upon.

im talkin bout travelling.... that's the beauty of it. to leave with nothing and to return as someone new..and if only we could stop judging and start from square one...? but like i once said.. square one can never be the same again..