i am not ok.

thought 1
I curse those MALE bastards with loose assholes who whacked my GIRL friends last nite. each of you deserve to die and we know your ball-less faces. and you bitch who triggered the mess knowing you didnt have to take responsibility because you had 10 odd guys to whack people for you.

thought 2
i actually wish i was the one being whacked cos i need a physical pain to make me cry the pain tts been bottled up inside. it hurts like some kinda internal bleeding..

thought 3
i think she likes u. well at least she's making it quite clear to me she was worried abt u. so... yah..

thought 4
i think u like her. dont need to explain to me or fear that i'm upset.

thought 5
i have never changed and right to the core i'm still that girl i always hated to be.

thought 6
i'm considering turning crook.. i've too many adorable girlfriends naow. and they are people who DO care.

thought 7
watched nightmare on elm street and i swear it was freaking horrific (for a faint heart like mine) that i dont dare to sleep now. "because if you sleep you will dream and when you die in your dream you die for real.." OMGAWD tsk. sick plot. purposely make people go home cannot sleep. i stuffed my fingers so hard into my ears that they actually hurt after the show. ):

thought 8
sometimes in fact most recently i feel unappreciated..

thought 9
you can never make everyone love you... but why even the ones i love cannot love me..?

thought 10
and the thoughts can go on and on and they're making my mood fucking bad. the worst thing is they carry forward to the next day.. and the next.. and it never exactly holds testament for the knowledge that time should be healing all wounds.. and before old wounds are given time to heal... you inflicted new ones on me. deeper ones.

i'm going crazy alr. *cry*